College freshmen get a lot of hate.
When I was starting my freshman year, I stuck out like a sore thumb when I was in social situations. People would look at me and think “who let this high school kid into the bar” and “why does this strange little boy keep trying to act cool”. These situations would lead to a lot of awkwardness with older girls always looking at me like I was a weird little brother to my older friends. I felt out of place and uncomfortable and it was a bit hard at first for me to loosen up.
So, I am compiling a list of things that all incoming freshmen should take into consideration when in the social scene in college.
If you have any questions, shoot me a DM on Instagram and I will be happy to answer them.
1) Don’t talk about how much you drink.
When in a bar surrounded by alcohol, it is assumed that you are going to be drinking. That’s the entire point of going out, right? If you didn’t want to drink you would probably be sitting in your room playing Modern Warfare or secretly watching The Vampire Diaries and eating a tub full of birthday cake ice cream.
Regardless, when you are out, don’t ever go around talking about how much you have had to drink that night.
Nobody really cares and it only makes you look immature and ignorant. Plus, if you’re into older girls (or at least want a chance with older girls), this will be a big turnoff for them. Who wants to talk to a guy who is constantly bragging about drinking two vodka sprites in the last two hours, and how drunk it made him?
2) Always tip. Please.
If you can’t afford an extra dollar as a tip for your drinks, don’t go out.
It’s not even the fact that it isn’t a good idea financially, but it’s also just a douche move to not tip your bartender. These people are serving drinks to a bunch of kids who are mostly underage. They have to deal with more than you can imagine and trying to hear voices over the hours and hours of overplayed DaBaby songs blasting in their ears warrants an extra dollar or two.
More importantly, if you are known as “the guy who doesn’t tip”, you are going to be “accidentally” overlooked by the bartender every time they start serving people around you. The more you tip, the faster you get your drinks.
3) Don’t be creepy with girls.
This one should be common sense, but it’s honestly surprising how many people you see being weird and creepy at the bar.
Guys, just because she accidentally made eye contact with you from a mile away, doesn’t mean that she instantly wants you to be touching her lower back and trying to eat her face off every time you are close to her.
Be respectful to girls, no matter how “into you” they are. Getting touchy with a girl is a good way to get your ass beat by a security guard that’s 4x your size and its just not cool. If you play your cards right and are a cool, approachable, and friendly guy, you have more of a shot with girls than if you look desperate and creepy.
Read the room. If she isn’t into you, walk away.
4) If you decide to go Greek, don’t brag about it.
This one is a more personal one for me because I was pretty guilty of it.
In the fall of my freshman year, I decided to rush a fraternity. It was single-handedly the best decision of my life, but I have to admit that I talked too much about it. I would often overhear conversations of people who were thinking about rushing, and I would instantly butt-in and try to convince them that my fraternity was the one that they should consider. When girls that I was friends with began to talk about negative aspects of Greek life, I would try to argue with them and talk about how I was in Greek life and I knew the positive parts.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I subconsciously bragged about it without realizing it and brought it up in conversation when it wasn’t necessary.
Not everyone is a Naturday-slinging, chubbies-wearing party animal like yourself, so don’t assume that everyone wants to hear about Greek life in your nightly conversations.
If you are unsure about if you want to join Greek life or not, check out my post showcasing the unbiased pros and cons of joining.
5) Have fun without alcohol.
It seems like a majority of events around colleges revolve around alcohol. And while yes, these events are usually pretty fun, it is important to know how to enjoy yourself without alcohol. If you are the party animal I mentioned at the end of the previous paragraph, I guess you can skip this one.
On a more serious note, there are lots of people who absolutely depend on alcohol to loosen up and enjoy themselves. They don’t know how to talk to people without cramming shots down their throat, and they act uncomfortable in every situation outside of this environment. But this is a really bad thing to get into.
When I first got into college I was pretty socially awkward, and it showed. But, it took me getting out of my comfort zone and talking to people in different environments to loosen up and become comfortable with myself. As I did this, it got much easier and my social life improved a ton.
I would recommend starting by talking to people in your classes and reach out to them to get their number or Snapchat. Then, invite them to some local events. Whether its a school concert or simply going to get pizza, you will become more confident and comfortable in social situations the more you do this.
It is always good to have multiple groups of friends who are interested in different types of environments. Have a “going-out” squad, and “staying-in” squad, and a “doing fun things that don’t involve alcohol” squad.
6) Don’t keep your eye on the prize.
The concept of “keeping your eye on the prize” is pretty good for most parts of life, but not in social scenes. I’ll explain what I mean by this.
Say you are at a coffee shop. You see a girl that you find extremely attractive. So, you hype yourself up by listening to “Homicide” by Logic on repeat for ten minutes and decide to walk up to her and say hi. You guys hit it off and you really like her. The next day, she asks you to go out to a bar with her and her group of friends. So, you arrive at the bar and see that her friends are actually…. a group of….. guys * gasp *
But you have a feeling that the girl is into you, so you try your hardest to win her over during the span of the night. You act energetic and show your amazing sense of humor. But, when she walks away to go to the bathroom, you are stuck with her guy friends. You’re not into these guy friends, obviously, because you’re going for her. So, you stand around silently, making uninteresting awkward conversation. But, when she comes back, your inner energy comes right back out and you are trying again to win her over.
This is the worst possible situation when trying to improve your social life. Don’t show favorites to try and impress people that you are interested in. Be your original self to everyone you talk to; whether it is a girl you are trying to date in the future or a random dude that you meet at the pool. As long as you give off an aura of sociability, people will notice it, and they will start approaching you. You’ll begin to make more friends and grow your network of people. In the end, that one girl that you tried so hard to impress, will become twenty girls that you don’t even have to try to impress.
I figured that these tips would help people improve their social life while in college. I had to learn some of these things the hard way, so I combined my knowledge and knowledge of things that I have seen other people do, to make this article.